I remember this one day very distinctively…
I was probably around 9 years old, maybe not quite 10. My cousin and I were bathing in the tub as young kids often do. She was probably around 11 or 12 at the time.
I had stood up after a war with water and suds. Soap in my eyes, I couldn’t see, but we were having a fun time. I was in my own wrapped concentration, trying to remove the suds from my face.
My cousin stands up, and she pointed to my thighs… And then she said.
“Your thighs don’t have a gap. Yours touch. Mine have a gap, this is how girls should be.”
I think that was one of the first times, that I could remember, that I suddenly became conscious of my body. Of its shape… And how I was simply not adequate enough.
How I was… Fat.
Now mind you, as a child I had ALWAYS been very athletic. I was toned, and had the muscularity to prove all of the hard work from playing rough, running around, and the blessed genetics of my parents.
But I didn’t see it that way.
It shaped me for years, and led me down some really dark paths. Paths that took a long, long time to find my way back from.
Words can have such an amazing impact on a young mind…
The battle scars, we cannot see until they are manifested later on down the line.
How many of us, as women (and even men), have been shaped by the thoughts and opinions of others. Almost to the point where you lose the ability to see yourself as you truly are. Wonderfully in your own glory.
Today’s video is all about my personal journey back from the dark abyss of negative thinking. And how I was able to overcome it, and eventually start to focus on the things about me that I love.
And how that love of self has allowed me to change my body even more than before.
I am not saying that these thoughts of doubt have completely vanished… What I am saying is that my experiences might be able to help you to overcome your own personal struggle… So you can let go, love who you are, and change with the best intentions for YOU…